funkypancake

another afternoon working from home. not sure if I'd want to work from home all the time. got lots done today because the house is empty, but it does mean you go a bit mad.

the silence was broken by an ice-cream van driving by. It was playing a souped up version of Popeye The Sailor Man and looked very modern. I was too slow with my recording device to catch the tune for you.

I once heard of a girl who's parents told her that when an Ice Cream van played its tune it meant that it had run out of lollies and ice creams.

a fantastic parent lie. i think it's a fair response.

This week I have been mostly listening to:
BBC Radio Player

drummers are funny people. but everyone knows that. here is the holiday club drummer.

bass players and drummers have to be telepathetic ... he's got a telly and i'm pathetic. [joke to be removed by quality control at a later date].

this concerns me. what will they do to Top Of The Pops ? Is Andy Peters the right man for the job. why does anyone still listen to veteran DJ DLT aka the Hairy Cornflake. why can't they just leave stuff alone

british trains are expensive, but at least you get punctuality, airconditioning and courtious staff.

one thing your ticket price doesn't include is the cost of litter bins. the world of terrorism has a lot to answer for. in the end i did something i don't normally do. i put my rubbish on the floor.

here is the rubbish, which represented over £6 worth of Virgin Trains catering fodder:

i was sent to coventry today. whilst there some men demonstrated the future of telephones (it's much like the present with telephones, only you get some video as well and you can see who is phoning on your TV). my two colleagues and I were joined by a Saudi Princess for the presentation, which was nice. she didn't say anything, but that's what being sent to coventry entails.

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a skateboard ?

i read this on the BBC news this morning. It makes no mention of wooden ties (which are secured by an elastic loop).

"A tight necktie can be considered a risk factor in men who prefer to wear tight neckties, men with thick necks, and white collar professionals."

my ear is still giving me jip which means I didn't sleep very well (at all) last night. lieing awake at night is a weird thing, especially with two children in the house. esther had a nightmare at one point so i went through to see her (she was ok and just went back to sleep).

But the funniest thing of all was Kezia who woke up between 1am and 2.30am and was highly animated in her speech. She tried a dozen different ways of saying 'Mummy' and then a dozen ways of saying 'Daddy'. When that failed to get a reaction she sang a note perfect 'Happy Birthday to you' to Esther. I was really impressed. During the day she doesn't say half as many things.

I'm sure she also said "yes please" a few times whilst chatting to herself.

well, here I am 24 hours later and this morning the sunrise isn't red. normal sky in the morning, shepherds yawning. you can tell a lot about the weather by looking at it. that's how the weather pixie works.

proof of appearance. note the cotton wool in ear. i am completely deaf in that ear at the moment, so i have been playing my bass guitar in mono.

i'm near the middle with my hat on - sitting on my bass amp so i can feel the notes as i can't really hear them.

the tent where dave plays:

the tent where jane plays (note how hers is more open plan):

300 kids and 3 toilets. thats a high kids to toilet ratio.

portable toilets like this are never pleasant.

red sky in the morning, shepherds warning. it's 5.30am and the sky is red. how relevant is a shepherds wisdom in modern urban england ? we shall find out in due course I imagine. I shall update this entry throughout the day.

update: bad things which happened throughout the day
1) woke up with excruciating ear ache at 3am and didn't get back to sleep
2) found my computer has locked me out of most of my accounts so it's tricky to work from home (though I have found a sneaky non-ideal way)

However, we also know that every cloud has a silver lining, so here are some good things:
1) cotton buds, codeine, oral and aural antibiotics all combine to numb the pain (and give me a slighlty euphoric feeling
2) my work email account has sprung back in to life and i can access my emails again (hoorah).

amaze your friends with road knowledge.

UK Roads: Roads by 10

and here's one on pathetic motorways

and here is a general one (home of the A roads section above)

when not being ill i have been in a marquee playing my guitar.

It's the church holiday club this week which happens in a school field. work has kindly allowed me to work flexibly around my bass playing duties, which may mean I start my working day at 5am and finish at 9pm (with a break in the middle).

been no blog entries this weekend as I have an ear infection and am in a massive amount of pain. will attempt to catch up tonight :-/

here is elton and kezia. elton is a hairdresser in Sheffield and is one of the funniest people I know. he's also one of the kindest. the two are not incompatible.

we had a barbeque for anyone involved in music at our church and Elton did a fine job barbequing in the rain. we couldn't allow him in the house as he doesn't go to our church. this picture was taken just before we threw him out in to the rain.

esther and elton balance cats on their heads

this was spotaneous art which took ages to set up. the little ball kept slipping out of esther's toes when she raised her foot above the globe. i'm sure you agree that the final picture was worth the effort.

unnoticed by most people, the communications act became law today. this marks the beginning of a new era for telecommunication (and tv) regulation.

oftel marked the occasion by sending me a pile of paper in 12 different envelopes.
total height of the combined contents is 2.2cm.

here is the number 5 in the street. it's on a flip pad type arrangement with, i suspect, the other numbers accessible by flipping over pages. perhaps it belongs to a bygone quizmaster who has now gone digital

some nice graffiti here. done in whiteboard marker so it can be rubbed off easily (as has partically happened here).

the artist has written "I am free" and then obviously run away to prove it. free from what you ask. Free to do what he wants, without being hassled by the man. obviously.

here we are with our friends the gooddys and the newells at dinton pastures.

not an instruction, more of an alternative.

this was written on a handdrier in Dinton Pastures. A fantastic name.

Here is a link to the modern Stiebel Eltron. nice trousers lady.

the long awaited back lash has started against the stupid black flies which have recently entered our house. I counted 7 flies in our house (spread over various rooms)

we are approaching the eradication on two fronts - chemical and physical.

Here is Kezia enjoying the new fly swat.

Current fly count is 4 (and falling). they are dropping like flies it seems

the highway code suggests you should slow down and stop if pedestrians are using a zebra crossing. the highway code makes no comment about reversing backwards over zebra crossings and hitting people that way. a white van took full advantage of this fact earlier today and nearly sent me flying across Charlotte Street.

Had I been tieing my shoelaces or taking a quick nap, i would surely have been one less dimensional by now.

we went to warwick castle today - was most excellent.

view from a window

sign in a shop

of course they used to make coca-cola in wooden barrels in the medieval days. i suspect a rather more sinister marketing ploy

sign at warwick castle

warwick castle is great for all the family. you have to watch out for your kids though. here is the rat catcher (right), esther (middle) and the jester (left)

Yours in His Service

Herve says"wobbleometer"

the sentence everyone is asking today is "did you feel that". Our whole building is shaking because of a drilling digger thing going on next door.

herve was sceptical this morning, prompting Sara to repeatedly ask "can you feel it now".

here is the beast causing the tremours:

i once got an email from one of our sales people who speaks in 'jive'. he ended one very cryptic email with the phrase "do you feel me ?".

I didn't.

this morning there were old milk bottles all over the place. the whole of london is rancid. I must have seen around 10 bottles / cartons of old milk spewing milk blobs. nice.

i often see dog catcher vans round london. nowadays they capture furniture (it contains the future remember). here are two gentlement catching a sofa and a bookshelf. they were distracted by a 9volt power supply in a box, so didn't spot me taking this photo.

these people are a menace, and an enemy to the casual furniture / white good spotter.

here is a smart car with an attachment on the back.

i think it might be a backpack attachment thing so you can carry your car on your back in the tube.

or possibly, someone realised it looked like a dodgem and has adapted the car to run on car overhead electric cables (which unfortunately don't exist outside of funfairs)

90% of our waking hours today were spent on church activities.
the fun was split between music related activities and the church family BBQ.

the BBQ was christians burning steak, rather than being burned on one.

Unique Dog Gift Collectibles from Dog In a Shell

the furniture contains the future

jane and kezia compare tongues

A totally cool thing is veeperization.

It's TOTALLY BONKERS (only available for the next 14 days)

see how the elderly gentleman standing next to me is admiring my new found fashion sense (shirt: liquidation sale £6, wooden tie 6euros)

here i am again, this time with some ladies.

photos by herve

according to esther, a jawn and cough sounds like a woova.

don't be baboozled by tautologies

today it was raining. i got very qet. when it rains people use umbrellas. pavements aren't wide enough for multiple umbrellas. this causes people to think vertically when walking. do i crouch to avoid the oncoming umbrella. do i lift my umbrella high above the oncoming walkers.

it appears the etiquette is that the largest umbrella goes highest. golfing umbrellas go way up in the air, whilst small pop up ones can get away with barely skimming the tops of people's heads. this is fair as the golfing umbrellas cover the most area and save the smaller umbrellas from getting wet.

no one likes a wet umbrella. that's the problem with them really.

view from the boat at dusk

this next photo was taken moments later with the bridge just closing. i missed the bridge fully open as i was disembarking the luxury superior quality craft. oh well.

one way to get more laughs whilst giving a presentation is to camp it up. however you need to be careful you don't get too tense (two tents).

on the boat we also saw those massive needle things on the bank of the thames. there was no way they were going to fit through the eye of a camel.

tonight we had the pleasure of a pleasure cruise aboard a superior cruise vessel. we also had the pleasure of a DJ called Paris who had a gameplan. His gameplan worked as people started dancing at the required time. he told me he also has a daughter named 'elektra'. i didn't ask him his surname.

this morning (6.40am)on the way to work i saw lots of snails out on the street as it was nice and wet for them. walking back this evening (11.50pm) i saw snails on the now dry path way. lots of them.

my game was to walk really fast listening to my stereo really loud (Supergrass) whilst dodging the snails on the floor. there were lots of crushed ones, but I managed to avoid them all myself.

a good 'on the way back from the pub' game to play i think.

i walked past two Pop Idol Talent Box vans today. Not a clue what it means but they looked good head-to-head.

UPDATE: more info on a teenage pop idol here

UPDATE2: i went to a wedding of a pop idol finalist. see here

someone had cleverly placed a set of table legs and frame around a bin, thus creating a table bin. brilliant concept. just eat your dinner and push what you don't want in to the hole in the middle.

here is a sign on the Royal Festival Hall door:

It's a very square dog with a mad eye

on Oxford Street no less ...

i walked to chancery lane this morning from paddington station for a 10am meeting. on the way i passed a very posh street next to Hyde Park. It was so posh they even had free magazines in boxes for the locals to read whilst having their afternoon strolls.

All you high society magazines were there: tatler, cosmo etc.

And from the wording on the box they are all provided by the Westminster Council. Their council tax is high, but certainly worth it I imagine.

two nice chairs passed on my way to work this morning

I also saw a pair of knickers hanging out of the bin in the street opposite the office ...

just been discussing our TV aerial with esther.

esther: what's that bird stick on the roof for daddy
me: it's the TV aerial, not a bird stick
esther: what's it for ?
me: it helps you see the TV better
esther: do you have to sit up there to watch it
me: no.

The Onion | Ask The Back Of A Gourmet Potato Chip Bag

it used to be the case that technology companies would have wacky events in their offices to encourage 'out of the box thinking'. Tumbling share prices and burst bubbles put an end to that.

As an act of celebration of my company's half year results, two ladies jumped on to the filing cabinets and did a synchronised dance. it was a precious moment.

If only I had a record player, I could have played the Up Town Top Rankin' record to accompany them.

it used to be that you'd see records everywhere. now it's mostly tapes and CDs in the street.

I was pleasantly surprised to see this pi