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something is going on here.  i'm just not sure what

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hug a hoodie bollard here

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for when your bollard needs are lofty

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the bollards bow down to the might flower pot

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what is going on here ?

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i think there's two separate scenes.  not sure if they are related

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chairs are for sitting on not standing on

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i took a picture of this, then a colleague sent me a picture of it too.  obviously very funkypancakesque

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my colleague simon sent me this from auckland international airport as he passed through on the way to london.  he had some problem with a bottle of water. i'm not sure if this picture is related.

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we respect their loss and walk slowly by

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i felt disappointed by the lack of variety in the new zealand bollard selection.  until we went to watch a local triathalon where they had pop up bollards and mini yellow weetbix ones

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great stuff !

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time to move out of the way.  this could get nasty

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can you see the hidden bollard on the cliff edge ?

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we were so lucky to spot one in its native nesting place

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it's a pile of funkypancake faves just outside my office

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bollards are less prevalent in new zealand which is interesting and i wonder whether that speaks of the kiwi rule abiding nature and/or general dislike of plastic cones ?

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bollards

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there bollard pictures showing bollards in a bollard like structure were sent by Yves.  fantastic stuff !

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the last line on this sign (which is squashed in to a poor bollard) is classic.

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it's the end of the road for the bollards

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bollards for sale in the local hardware shop.  hoorah.

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this has got it all.  a couple of metropolitan police bollards, a rubbish bin, a twin faced post box, and an abandoned plastic cutlery tray.  And it's literally in hopping distance to Tony Blair, ex president of the UK's, house.  (no political comment intended)

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bendy bollard bus (with casualties)

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see how they guard the saddened arrow

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look at this.  it's some bollards on a field trip, towing a trailer full of traffic lights.  brilliant stuff.

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classic tri-colour bollard here.

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the exiles sent me these excellent pictures of bollards that weren't springing back up.  an excellent series of shots.

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funkypancake may be getting a little more international next month or so as we do a family trips to both new zealand and minehead in april.  i'll keep you posted

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long time funkypancake reader and life advisor Big Nose Ugly Guy sent me this picture of a shy Australian bollard (either called or in Sydney).

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i had to look away

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and a giant bobbin !

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in the lake in st james' park

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more colour stuff for my course

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there's a bollard hidden in the picture above.  can you see it ?

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here's a shot from a slightly different angle (with me in it).  can you see it yet ?



(warning - spoiler)

Continue reading "where bolly" »

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there's some great writing on this bollard

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yves sent me this intriguing picture of two belgian bollards.  he writes "I spotted a contraption involving bollards and a hand-drying paper box, painted with a number."

very mysterious.  perhaps it's a bollard weighing station ?  or are they worshipping on a numerical altar ? 

thanks for your quandary yves !

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(thanks to exile#1)

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stealthy black bollard

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this is an arty home made bollard in an art expo.  what more could you wish for ?

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i had meetings in london nearly every day last week, and walked a similar way each day, so i got to see some evolving mundaness - like this bollard wearing a jet pack

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it all looked so good, but the next day i came by it had obviously all ended in disaster

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here's a lolly pop map resting up

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he's sitting on a nice velvet covered cushion.

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lollipop people are the closest you get to human bollards.

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big nose ugly guy sent me this curious bollard.  he didn't investigate so we're all still curious.

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i didn't even spot bt tower in the background of this photo when i took it.

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i did spot the strange shadow though

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this is like a giant needle and thread. sort of. if nothing else it give me a chance to use my favourite word: "bobbin"

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Anne from I like recommended i searched out this statue and it didn't disappoint:

"Probably the one thing right up your street in Glasgow is the equestrian statue outside GOMA which always has a police cone on its head. On a good day both horse and rider are sporting one. I keep meaning to write that up for Nothing To See Here!"

thanks anne !

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a bollard catching a lift on a fellow sign

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'the cod' sent me these terrific blendyinny bollards.
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here's a bollard on a mattress outside in the rain. i'm pointed at it with a finger of fudge.

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buoys are boat bollards. fact.

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why has this no entry sign got a bollard on ?

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miss president sent me this excellent bollard picture:
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she wrote: " I emailed you a few weeks ago about the following pictures. These were taken while on a walk in Hewitt, New Jersey, USA. I think that the poor bollard looks like he has been sick. :) My fiance and I have now found ourselves on the lookout since I have been following your blog - we see bollards/cones everywhere now! "

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looks like he's been drinking
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the poor bollard on the right is being dragged underground whilst the other one leans over to help.

or is it two bollards making an escape via a tunnel from the local bollard prison before scarpering off ?

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it was a bit windy yesterday. i had a meeting in london and got blown along most of the southbank. i took this photo of the wobbly bridge as i was surprised it was so empty. in fact it was shut.

i was pleased with the photo though as it was just a grab shot, with a sideways gale wobbling me, but i still managed to get it vaguely level and centred ! i love the wide angle on my new compact camera.

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it took me three and half hours to get home which was a bit of a shame. in fact i spent 5 and a half hours travelling today for a 3 hour meeting. just when you thought it couldn't get any worse i saw the colour scheme on this screen.

today, i'm off to glasgow for the day, so let's hope the wind calms down a bit !

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and finally here's a bollard waving a streamer in the wind. i tried to take a video of it, but the wind stopped. so it looked a bit boring. which it was.

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bignoseugly guy writes: "Couldn't resist this P.O.W. bollard which we discovered during our Boxing Day bike ride. We glimpsed it cowering by the gate of the stockyards at the local agricultural showground."

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this photo contains a shadow which shows my lackadaisical one handed photographic technique

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the humiliation of a sign stuck on its head, tied up and cut open. cruel cruel cruel.

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the one in the front is trying to climb on to the other's shoulders.

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instructions for a lock
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did you spot the bit about being aware of bollards ?
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sometimes the streets are just SO busy.
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kezia took this picture. she settled upon this framing after spending ages zooming in and out. once she'd decided how much zoom she needed she then stepped back a bit to change the composition
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meanwhile my picture looks a bit boring
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part of the grueling bollard fitness routine

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thanks dermo !

here is our friend 'The Cod'. she regularly tells me of good things she's spotted, and this time she's caught it on camera.

She climbed in to this river to rescue a bollard, but unfortunately wasn't able to save the one upsway down further along.

i think this might be the most committed reader action yet !

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as if we needed more evidence of bollards' inabilities to play hide and seek, here's one hiding behind a giant arrow. the arrow is pointing to its feet ! what dreadful hiding.
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the rare sight of a bollard backing itself up on to a chair.

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i went to a seminar yesterday which was held in an exhibition hall. the exhibition was for police forces and the stalls were amazing. i'm not a policeman so i found it all quite amazing (and rather surreal).

my favourite thing were these fantastic bollards which sort of pop up out of their base and are fairly industructable (eg you can run over them with a car and they just pop back up).

here is one of the sales chaps happily modelling one for us.
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if you are interested you can get them from here
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a bollard is guarding something. but what ?
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ah. it's some no entrance signs
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is there a non-patronising way of saying 'young people' ? it sounds frightfully grown up.

will the lone bollard meet the entry requirement ? he's surely not a people.

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here are two fantastic pictures from regular commenter Rascle.
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he writes (in the third person):
Rascle's daughter works at a day-nursery. She doesn't even look at FP but guess who frequents the nursery.
Mr Conehead does everything with the children!

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this bollard is levitating, and so is the one in the background. they are protected by metal railings to prevent them floating off. incredible.

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by the way, have you seen this advert with mad bollards ? You should. it's work safe. (thanks to Dan for the link)

we're probably not allowed to say 'fat' in these modern days, so here is a girth-icly challenged bollard.
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it's so big it's got a little bucket in the top which is holding a diet ribena carton
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(not quite as dynamic as these chaps)

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it's small, but it is there


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look at this - it's two bollards lifting a concrete mixer lifting a wheelbarrow. brilliant stuff.

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i'm really pleased with this picture.

click on it for the big version and admire the arrow work. it's great how it's parallel with the ground, requiring the bollard to be upsway down.

and note the wonky road arrow in the distance pointing in the opposite way.

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funkypancake - sometimes it's almost like art.

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we occasionally have the 'is it a bollard or is it a cone' debate here on funkypancake. i use the word bollard to mean both of the things we see in this picture. but in my mind, the plastic bollard is far superior.

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i saw these two chaps on the way to work last thursday and i thought it looked like they were holding hands to cross the road. so i took this photo for you.
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but i walked past them at lunchtime on the way to church and they'd obviously not done too well
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and then yesterday i think they'd given up and gone back to car park duty
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bollards have dreadful eyesight which makes playing hide and seek quite tricky.
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they have evolved naturally to be bright in colour to overcome their sight problems. a feature we humans exploit by putting them in locations where they can be seen. they are usually so frightened they can't (and don't) move.
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a very sinister scene: a man trapped in a phone box by a bollard and a big doc marten boot in the foreground.

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i call both of the items in this picture 'bollards'. i know others don't but that's the word i use. so that's what i'll call them here to. and anyway, it's a great word.

this plastic bollard seems to be threatening the metal bollard
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and has already attacked this chap:
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(my recent 'those are cones, not bollards' email came pointed me to this which shows painted bollards)

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what IS going on here ?

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you can never be too careful when you are a learner. this car already looks to have had some scrapes.

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it's a skip full of categories

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this bollard has seen better days. note the teeny weeny people (you may need to inspect the big version)

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you people have been much better at making up captions for things than i am, so please can i have some suggestions for this one.

is a bollard blowing up a balloon ?

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bollards and sweeping trolleys. that's the plan.





it's no coincidence this one looks like an exclamation mark !

how many categories can this fit in ? it's two slippery sign bollards on a trolley in front of the Shell building




the emergency services and the (wo)man in the street were the real heroes of the recent tragedies in london, but we shouldn't forget the humble bollard. these chaps have appeared all over the place keeping the rest of us from places we should go.

for most people visiting or working in london the only thing they'd see now would be a few closed tube lines/stations. even the crime scene road blocks are gradually being lifted.

which might make walking from east to west across town a lot easier. i managed to get very last lost monday morning walking from paddington to brick lane when i had to detour round these road closures


this is a colour photo of a black bollard on a grey street.




the poppy strewn bollard battlefield. let us remember what they did for us.



a bollard:

in the depth of the thames:



here's a hazy bollard picture i made for you and your desktop. do the click thing to get a big version.




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richard sent me this. he invites us to spot the bollard.


blogette Victoria sent me a link to some fantastic bollard photos she took on a trip to San Francisco. They are here and here. you must look.

so for her, here is a family of bollards on the streets of london

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it's a double category - cola on railings and bollard. what is stranger is that the tesco cola is unopened.

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are these bollard practicing for a may pole dance ? or is the yellow one on the right getting married and the others are carry her train ?

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this is a bit of a teaser, but expect a complete picture story of the current parking meter replacement program happening on my route to work.

meanwhile, here are some bollards protecting the new parking meter, waiting patiently in its plastic wrapper.


thanks to michelle for pointing out this fantastic site


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this standard red cone has mated with this yellow metropolitan cone. the resulting offspring can be seen behind.

it's got the shape of red, but the colours of yellow.

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a nice bollard tableau.

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and so the saga ends

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here's two fantatic things which go bbooooooing !

hydraulic boingy thing:
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bollard on a pogo-stick boingy thing:
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did you know the queen employees servants who's job it is to move bollards round her palace ? here is a rare site of one outside of her grounds. he's got his flourescent red and yellow uniform on.

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click to see if you can see him in the big picture:

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"how do you catch wild bollards ?" i hear you ask (for this is a blog with ears).

with a bollard trap is my answer. as seen here. it's completely humane.

unfortunately, bollards aren't human so it does cause them some distress.

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i'm really pleased with this picture. it's all about colours and angles i think.


click for a desktop sized picture !

and here is Dan's desktop displaying the bollard (and his remote control):
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very sensible that he's put newspaper down under his laptop.

it's another picture from jeremy, this time of a hat wearing a bollard.

i'm pleased to be able to put this photo in three categories - hats, bollards ...

... and chopped off heads:
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my heart lept when i saw these two this morning. love is in the air this week with valentines day (and wedding anniversaries).

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bollardy often requires a considerable amount of team work. so it's only right these little chaps have occasional outward-bound team building activities.

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a slightly sinister selection of cones sent from Grahame.


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we've been watching these bollards for a couple of weeks now, but there's been no change.

initially it looked like a bollard relationship breakup, and the bollard in the distance was crying. a bollard relationship counsellor is on his way, but is still a few streets away.

it could be that bollard time moves very slowly compared to human time. a year for us might be an hour for them. perhaps they don't even see humans as we move to so fast compared to their sedate movement ?

so it could be some time before we see anything dramatic from this pair.

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but i took some closer photos this morning, and now i believe that rather than showing the darker side, this scene is actually an act of chivalry.

poor on bollard on the left is guarding a puddle and doing her bollardy duty with pride. but she's alone and slightly scared. so the other bollard is keeping her company and standing by. perhaps even taking his own turn to guard the puddle.

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this was a danger shot - a car was approaching me at speed down a particularly thin piece of road and i suddenly spotted this bollard down a hole.

it went: camera out, shoot, dive in to bushes.

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no change again here:
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but is this bollard, just a few streets away, coming to sort things out ?
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it must be a hard life for those traditional bollards which have been concreted in the ground for many decades. whilst they stand motionless, the new plastic bollards (sometimes called 'cones') swan around town in their bright red outfits with reflecty sashes.

this traditional bollard has taken matters in to its own hands and is sporting a rather nice red cardigan. now all it needs it the reflecty sash.

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two bollards bravely help their friend whilst watched by a street cleaner and a pair of siamese twins riding a tandem.

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finally i got to take a picture of these troubled bollards in day light rather than having to do a long exposure night shot.

but even in daylight, things aren't looking good for these two

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even more tears from the distant bollard this morning. can their relationship ever be patched up ?

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strange markings

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it looks like in the UK are starting to limber up for an election later this year. if you live in london you may be able to vote for this bollard, as seen here. "we're improving your street" it claims.

sadly i suspect the bollards might be a single issue party.

(note 'bat boy' on the theatre in the background)

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i took a look at our friendly bollards this morning to see how they were getting on after yesterday's argument. The tree has gone, but it seems the stand-off still remains.

but look closely at the bollard which is furthest away - there's a little puddle there which suggests it's been crying.

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i took this photo of two bollards having a chat in the street yesterday morning. one had a januty hat, and i suspect they were talking about something but it seemed rude to stop and listen.

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this morning it was a different story. the two of them looked quite stand-offish. i noticed there was a christmas tree between them so perhaps that's relevant.

i suspect old jaunty-hat wanted to have it up all year round, but no-hat didn't want to. i once had a christmas tree up for three years. but then i took it down.

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there's nothing more boring than digging a hole so workmen often listen to the radio.

but what do they do if they are addicted to Celebrity Big Brother (which is quite good at the moment [shame on me] ) ?

The answer is to take a telly to work and put it by the hole so you can watch whilst you dig.

perhaps it's a sony workman watchman ?

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have these two guys just had a fight or is the red on a paramedic ?

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our good friend andrew went to Japan for two days last week (as you do) in order to take these photos of bollard related strangeness.

here we see illuminated bollards and an animated manequin thing which apparently was waiving a glowing stick.

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here are two photos sent by me dear readers.

on the left are some humanoid state-side bollards sent from cheryl. she questioned whether these chaps were bollards since they were doing the same job.

my motto is "if it quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck" (unless it's a cunning cat trying to catch duck by impersonating them). so, yes. i think it's a bollard

on the right is a glove from nottingham sent by brother-in-law kev who has just moved up that way and likes sending me pictures of gloves

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i was sent this bollard by our lovely friends in the photogenic north.

richard writes "thought you might be able to empathise with this poor bollard found savaged in a wood near us… I think it is the Blair Witch Bollard"

luckily, i've never been savaged in a wood, so i cannot empathise with this bollard. i can guess how he feels though ...


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such is their commitment that, even when seriously injured, a bollard will still report for duty.

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we went on a family 12km walk today. esther didn't even complain (neither did kezia, but she was in the backpack).

at one point we walked past this graveyard which contained a cat which sat and looked at us accusingly. click for a bigger look:

there was also a section for dead bollards:
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look what i found in our local supermarket - it's a glove on a slippery-sign bollard

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look at its pink bottom. surely that can't be appropriate for a bollard ? it looks SO girly !

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it's a rare sight to see a bollard on its favourite type of transport, so i did well to catch this bollard on it's flourescent magic carpet.

(note how dark it is in the mornings in london at this time of year)

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this bollard appeared to be levitating. it was actually standing on some netting. a bollard safety net no doubt.

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there's currently a children's road safety feature in the Transport Museum in london. here are some kids sized smiley bollards for our enjoyment.

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groc sent me a link to a photo of people dressed up as bollards. how cool is that ! click on the picture to see a slightly bigger version (on the excellent bunchofpants photo collection site)

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a seriously wounded bollard

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a bollard checking down the hole to see what it's meant to be guarding against.

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this bollard has had a hair transplant. its lusious locks were blowing in the wind.

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more bollards from the bronx from brad.

Brad writes: This is a picture of a newspaper saying it's sorry, my legs, and a bollard.

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Brad writes: this shows the power of teamwork.
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Brad writes:is a bollard monument in honor of fellow bollards lost in the line of duty (note the tasteful addition of a cross):

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oh dear.

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no old people for the top 40 chart

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i've been a bit tardy keeping up with my email correspondence of late, so belatedly here's a bollard photo from Annette of Boston. She's got a page full of bollards with some great pictures.

i particularly liked this one of bollard hero worship ("when i'm bigger i want to smoke"). She's also got some great ones of the Bollard Guantanamo Bay down the bottom.

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i should also mention groc who sent this picture of bollards considering whether to take a dip in the sea at Brighton (i think groc was in the sea taking this photo):
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and finally, another regularly reader has been inspired to start their own blog. This one is in halifax (in the north of England where the countryside is beautiful, but it rains even more than london) by Gary.

(as always, i'm not responsible for stuff on other people's sites so venture at your own peril !)

the poor white bollard is pointing downwards to try and get the red bollard to jump down, but the little scamp aint having none of it.

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wheely bins and a parking meter join the bollard parade

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number 3
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i'm working from home today which is good as it's thunder and lightning and massive winds and rain. but it does mean i'm missing a few fantastic signs which have popped up outside my office !

luckily john has walter's camera and here the pictures sent to me by the method of email

it's a sign of the times:
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no old dears:
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give always:
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it's obvious really, but bollards are attracted to other bright objects. work men in tabards, flourescent tape, giant yellow skips:

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these two bollards are trying to help this sign stand up straight. "good on 'em" i say

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Brad sent me this photo of captive bollards. is it right to keep them like this ? i'm not sure. surely they should be roaming free on the roads.

Brad writes: [this] is a Bollard petting zoo with beefy Bronx sized bollards. One is escaping.

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look at these two chaps helping their injured friend. a very touching scene.

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esther spotted these tall bollards on the way back from our scottish holiday. she even volunteered to take a photo so i let her (it was safer than me taking the photo as i was driving).

unfortunately she was too short to see over the dashboard, but you can just see the top of one of them way over to the right

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are these things bollards ? i dunno for sure. i'd say they are. bollards holding barriers.

anyway, whatever they are, they've all fallen in to the road.

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esther spotted these bollards in scotland swimming in a loch. we watched them for a while but they didn't move. they must have been scared of us i think

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the great north south divide is nowhere more apparent than in the centre of london. norther of the river are the great wealths of london's monetary districts and of course the mother of all parliaments 'parliament'.

go south of the river and it's a different story. southwark has always been a place associated with badness. but never have i seen the likes of it.

just LOOK what they've done to these two chaps. bent and burnt.

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bollard hobos, hitching a ride from town to town:
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a black topped bollard playing catch in a science museum with his friend (you can just see the other one poking over the top in the background):
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dan says "it was a slow day in Bollardsville USA, so a bunch of them gathered to needlessly taunt a underground worker. So typical. Note the two unstriped ones off by themselves, the black sheep of the bollard gang"
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thanks to Dan for his continued state-side bollard monitoring. i think we can safely say that not one bollard is moved in the US without Dan being aware of it. I think we can say that anyway.

tony went to legoland today. i assume he went with his family. anyway, he sent me this photo which shows a bollard made of lego.


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here are a couple of bollards from regular contributor Dan. They are both slightly strange and worth a longer look.

this bollard seems to be levitating between the two junior bollard inspectors:
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this pictures appears to show three bollards having fun in the sand. but don't be fooled, it's possible something more sinister has occured.

look at the traces of bollard blood near the front bollard, and the relatively unmessy nature of the two bollards in the background. one of the bollards at the back is obviously making a run for it too.

i don't like what i see here at all.
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bollard fact fans - note the double reflective stripes on these american bollards. a classic decoration for state-side bollards i believe.

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park police ? surely they can park where they like ? good to see they are crossing the road sensibly though.

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national trust bollards are green. they are the special forces of the bollard world. experts in stealth and undercover operations.

they also have funny round bits on their heads making them look like chess prawns. i know it should be 'pawn' but 'prawn' always sounded better.

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it's no wonder red bollards are so prevalent. look how these ones have climbed on top of each other to overpower this little green chap.

the same happened with grey and red squirrels you know.

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these red bollards are bullying the yellow road bollard for no other reason than he is different from them. that is SO not right.

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esther took this photo but was very concerned because she said she could only see three of the bollards in the photo. i said we should call it 'the hiding bollard' because you can see it if you look justbehind the third one.

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this bollard was approaching the 'little seeds' tent at the holiday club. little seeds is for the 0 to 5 year olds, but it's only a small bollard.

perhaps it was already starting to question why it was there. as a road and pavement user i often have to ask the same question about bollards.

in a strange matter of symmetry i sat for around 30 minutes in a number of bollard related traffic queues this afternoon. makes you think.

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i spotted this bollard in glasgow as we drove by. it's covered in a lovely mosaic which is probably a Roman influence (Ha-ha-drain's wall isn't too far away after all).

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(from Dan who may wish to comment on his photo in the comments)

(from Dan who may wish to comment on his photo in the comments)

more bollards protesting for their rights

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it's not easy for bollards. they spend almost all their life outside for little or no pay. for some this is simply too much and i noticed these two bollards have taken direct action and tied themselves to some posts.

but they have been foolish as the posts don't have signs at the top so the police can simply lift them over the top to free them, and thus end their protest.

bollards can be quite useful, but they are generally not very bright.

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just look at this chap ! incredible. click for big version


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it's the daddy of the bollards. a real beauty. but why has it got its 'no entry' sign on the wrong side ?

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i'm trying to remember. is this what all bollards used to look like ? massive, heavy solid plastic triangles ? perhaps someone can help me here ?

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this is a bit mysterious. it's a green bollard with a red one hiding inside (see it poke out of the top). and look how the sign below declares itself.

truely a breathtaking

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overcome with grief they throw themselves on to the burial mound

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here is our friend lynda. she had a birthday party to celebrate her significance. she occasionally contributes fine items for this site and i was delighted to learn she's got a new digital camera so we may be seeing more things like this.

i was also delighted to see she had a bollard slung between two sheds in her garden. there was a story behind it which was very good but i won't tell you what it is. it'll spoil the surprise if i tell you so you should ask her yourself.

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i went for a post-meeting meeting this afternoon and as i left the establishment i saw this bollard blocking the way. it was slightly disconcerting.

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is this a bollard grave yard ? it's just a pile of dirt, but you never know. burial in the road would be a bit like burial at sea from a bollards perspective. It would be a very dignified exit.

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update here

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all together now "one of these kids is not like the other one ..."

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here is a bollard homage to the glastonbury festival, but a couple of hours drive away from here.

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all is not well in the world of bollards. a bollard has been crushed by a falling pile of dirt. other bollards have arrived and cordoned off the area.

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more strange bollard behaviour. see the far bollard. very strange. white base and no reflecty top bit (compare to the one in the foreground).

and what's the yellow one doing hiding underneath ? this is all very mysterious.

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more bad bollard behaviour. look. they are breaking and entering this park.

there's a very triangular theme to this little incident

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why is this bollard climbing out of this window ?

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yesterday i spotted at least 6 dangly window cleaners on big buildings. it was obviously dangly window cleaner day.

here is the ground indicator for the skyward activity

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the streets are erupting.

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in contrast to before, it's now all alone.

the others were obviously fair weather friends (or fell down the hole)

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one of the great things about london is the mixing of people from amazingly diverse backgrounds.

i spotted these bollards just off the Edgware Road which is an appropriate place to see this multi-cultural bollard meeting.

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07 Apr 13