funkypancake

i was in poland for this conference. here's a classic techno-slide. i can't get enough of these things.

actually, i can

i disagree with this sign. i get in to my office at 6.40am when i drive (to avoid motorway madness). i say "no work after 4pm". perhaps i should make a sign.

here's the view from the penthouse at the Dorchester on Park Lane.

i was there for a work eating meeting. it might have been the poshest work lunch i've been to. here was the food i sneakily photographed (i had to be a bit stealthy as we were on one table and everyone was involved in the same conversation.

one of my colleagues said the best way to get to our office near St Catherine'd dock was by using the Thames Clipper. i caught it from Savoy Pier (which is a short walk from Embankment,
which is on the Bakerloo line from Paddington), and it was fantastic. much better than the tube and comparable speed wise

last week i spent a few days in brussels, including giving a talk at a breakfast meeting in the european parliament. brussels was surprisingly sunny and i found the city quite enjoyable for a change !

here is liz at her leaving do balancing a prawn on her head.

thursday night was our industry awards night. this year hosted by lee hurst who was quite hilarious (not a word i use lightly).

we had a secret santa at work, and i got these nice gloves and a lighter. someone has obviously been reading funkypancake !

actually, i've done rather well out of this as i need some new gloves, and lighters are always handy to have around at christmas for lighting candles etc.

it's 2006. we should all be working like this nowadays.

here is a chap i work with called toby. i randomly walked past him in ealing yesterday. i was on the way to work and so was he (but in completely different locations).

i was walked as my car was being mended. a boring and anoying story i'll tell you in person someday. too tedious and annoying for documentation here.

meanwhile, have a picture of toby's head.

i had meetings in london all yesterday so i went on my 'old' train route. unfortunately someone threw themselves under a train resulting in cancellations and delays, and a 4 hour miserable commute home.

it almost made my new car journey seem like a good idea ... well nearly.

so, after weeks of dorset, a week of athens and a weekend of vienna, i finally started my new job proper (and my new car arrived yesterday)

so far commuting by car means i walked 2km rather than my usual 12km/day. And i took rather no photos rather than the usual 10-20 photos a day.

still, i've got plenty of photos from the last few months adventures stored up and i'll take plenty more at weekends and my less occasional trips to london, so no need to worry ! And the job itself is fantastic, so all is good.

i was expecting about £800 back from my season ticket. Instead i've been offered £10.30 which put me in a very bad mood.

Yesterday morning i had to buy a weekly train ticket for this week as i haven't bought my car yet (due to all the jet setting). i was greeted by this lovely sign this morning saying how regular customer deserve exclusive treatment.

ho hum. i'm not going to give up on them yet ...

i'm changing my job (sort of) and with it my work location. as a result i (have attempted) to cash in my season ticket.

i've been travelling the same route for over 9 years i think and must have spent over £20,000 with the train company which is a nice way to pay for delays and crushes and misery. cheap at half the price.

anyway, i went to my local station and they said i needed to take my ticket back to Paddington. So i did and they took my ticket away and i said, "thanks, can i have the cash back (i'm expecting £594)"

and he said "nope, we have to send it off, goodbye" and i said "oh, when can i expect the money"

and he said "up to 20 working days" and i said "oh, cuz the money would be good as i want to buy a car for my commute"

and he said "we have to send it off, goodbye" and i said "well, can you tell me how much it will be when it comes through" and he said "nope, sorry, that's their job" and that was the end of that.

so i walked away and then thought "oh no" and ran back to my man and said "i hope you don't mind me asking, but how am i meant to get home this evening, you've just taken my season ticket away"

and he said "oh, do you want me to reissue it to you" and i said "nope, i want a refund"

and he said "well you'll have to buy a ticket" and i said "but that one is still valid today, it's just you've got it and i haven't". He was obviously an unempowered train droid so i had to buy a £10.50 ticket to get home.

I shall be writting a letter (except there isn't an address on anything they've given me so i don't know where to send it!)

how outrageous. i'll keep you informed how i get on. i suspect i'm not going to be happy. still, at least i've set my expectations low !

bloomin' first great western

i had to send an email just after 9am yesterday morning (and not before) and since i was on the way to a meeting i set up an impromptu office on this wall by a little garden.

i wasn't quite sure where i was heading so i checked out Google maps whilst online to find the street i was standing on. technology is so cool and i was thinking it was all very james bond when i looked across at the buildingi was standing next to

the blue plaque reveals it's used to be ian fleming's gaff !

here is abbie. she's leaving the world of UK telecommunications regulation to travel the world with her chap and eventually end up in New Zealand (the idea being to get there by surface, mostly by land). how cool would that be ?

she's keeping a blog of her adventures which you can read here

here is Roger at an awards ceremony where he was nominated for Internet Hero.

He didn't win, so i think that makes him simply *an* Internet Hero rather than *the* Internet Hero.

here is laughing harry and laughing walter. they are laughing.

remember the great opening of my new office over 2 years ago ?

well, yesterday morning the time came for it to be taken apart.

i knew something was up when i saw this by my phone

and pretty soon the windows were gone

and i became open-plan

on the same day they took the walls away we were given some corporate freebies. here is john sporting his with pride - i wonder if they are planning on turning the heat off ?

just in case anyone is wondering, i really do enjoy my job and the company i work for is very good. and since this it's got even cooler (which is probably why we need the winter gear).

here are some freebies i got yesterday from two different sources.

the mug on the right was 'personalised' which actually involved someone writting my name on it in a fat pen ! inside was this helpful note saying i needed to bake the mug if i wanted my name to remain on it. now where's my kiln ...

still, you shouldn't look a gift house in the mouse.

i bumped in to keith and his wife in henley yesterday. i haven't seen keith in yonks so it was great to have a speedy catchup.

this picture isn't the most flatering ever, but at least proves i saw him !

we didn't have a tree

this is a very poor photo, but still manages to catch the 'essence of harry'.

i don't know if you noticed but this week's blog was all preloaded on sunday night. i'm just so stupid busy at work.

on monday i went from meeting to meeting and ended up eating only 4 cough sweets all day (but i did manage dinner in the house of lords, so i guess that made up for it). yesterday i ran from meeting to meeting and the whole day passed in a blur.

at one point i passed this sign. i went to the meeting at the top but the other two looked at least as interesting, if not more so. i'm especially curious about the bottom one (london deanery think tank).

one of my colleauges at work has an anual firework spectacular party at his house and we were priveledged enough to be invited.

here are esther and kezia and their friend watching the fireworks:

here is justin watching his handywork

and here he is once it's all over

have i shown you this before ? it's my musical clonking thing which i keep on my visitor desk in my office.

you hit them with the little leather hammer (on the left) and they make a great mountain goat noise.

every desk should have them. you can use them to transfer your own stress levels to your colleagues. by giving them a good clonk i feel better and they feel worse.

and if i clonk the clonking things instead of my colleagues it's even better. boom tish (or should that be clonk clonk)

due to holidays, conferences, meetings and the modern ability to do so, i've only been at my desk about 6 times in the last 2 months.

today i spotted two strange things.

justin now has a plant growing out of his head

and pete's head has been removed and placed in his in-tray

i worked from home yesterday which is about a once a week thing for me (meetings permitting). here's a picture of my desktops in case you were wondering.

long time readers of funkypancake will remember Laura the receptionist who once caused a medical emergency in the office when she cut her finger a tiny bit on a piece of paper.

i haven't seen her for ages as she now works in a different building, but she emailed today to say she's going to work for a different company and wanted to say goodbye to all the funkypancake viewers.

she's says she's still not completely famous, but is working on it. she sent me this photo to post of her. so, goodbye and goodluck Laura !

what kind of people do i work with you ask ?

people like telco john is the answer.

company drinks

here is my colleague harry. he's just spotted that the fridge has moved itself out from its usual hiding place.

fridges generally sleep during the day and harry was concerned that this one might be ill or injured as it was out in the day.

harry adopted a soothing voice and attempted to woo the fridge back in to its alcove. unfortunately he was not successful and it remained for a couple of other colleagues to man handle it back.

i'm working from home today. just to be safe.

ideal for economic regulators

do you spot the similarity between this man here and the top picture here ?

click for big

who is the best slidey man ? well, last night, despite not winning, i was deemed the best slidey man.

i was obviously disappointed not to win. here i am looking very sadened alongside the winner and another loser:

click for big

in the heat of the moment, in the game, i pulled off some audacious moves and surprised myself with my gamesmanship.

As a result i was presented with this luxury engraved tankard by a very important fellow:

a couple of people have emailed recently to enquire what i do work-wise. here is a clue. it was my first time giving evidence in front of a Select Committeeb and it's weird to think my words will turn up in Hansard for all history tomorrow. something to show the grandchildren one day perhaps.

the picture is Portcullis House. and here's a report in the paper.

it was the annual awards for the uk internet industry last night. we won an award which was very exciting.

here is Jum modelling the award. does he look better with it or without it ?

and here's me looking smart (a rare occasion):

on the South Bank there is a publishing company which has its offices next to the public walkway. They have massive windows and no privacy !

last night as i walked past i saw that one of the offices, which used to contain some big-cheese from the looks of it, had been gutted. i drew the conclusion that the owner of the office must have left the company and his/her spoils were up for grabs.

it's a classic tale - we worklike mad for years thinking we're making a difference, but once we've left people are more interested in taking ownership of our deluxe stapler than for anything we contributed to the job.

cheery thursday morning thoughts. still, have a look at the stuff on offer !

click the pictures to view in more detail

i like how this sign seems to scream 'quiet please' as loud as possible by being in capital letters (yuck!) on a yellow background with a white border.

let's make this our message for the day.

please, for the sake of this blog, perleeeease, just this once, will you please BE QUIET

here is my colleague liz at our office christmas lunch. she's a vegetarian which is well accepted in most restaurants in these modern days. however, the restaurant we went to obviously wasn't so sure, so to be safe they just gave her a plate of rice instead.

when i got in to the office yesterday morning just after 7.30am i discovered the fridge door was open.

i just thought i'd share that with you.

office christmas parties are always interesting occasions. i've been at my present employ (how posh am i!) for 4 years now so i knew lots of people there and had a jolly good time.

here is our leader (the big cheese) giving his annual christmas address to the company:

here is telco-walter having a cigar:

and here is one of my current desk-neighbours called Simon. they are moving to a different floor next week, so perhaps i'll get another photo of him and his chums in a few days time:

i went to a place where they were showing what the future would be like for a drinks reception as part of a conference i went to recently. it was too hot and stuffy and we were trapped because it was a bus ride from civilisation.

someone said it was like being trapped in an Dixon's warehouse, which it was.

there was some good points though. the food was fantastic and i got to see an actual 3D TV which was really showing proper 3D stuff without requiring magic glasses etc. it was totally incredible.

less impressive was this massive bank of flat screen tellies each showing a different program. i've seen the future but i couldn't find the remote control or the off button.

i'm working from home today, so here is a picture of my desk in london i took last friday.

i went to a conference this morning and one chap gave a presentation which included some doctored street signs. here is one for you.

he also showed a picture of a weener van which was good !

my usually very quiet office has become very noisey of late. people have moved their desks in to what was a conference room and we are now much more than we ever were before.

the result has been less fridge space, more noise and a lack of suitable drinking vessels. i've resorted to drinking from a milk jug.

actually, it turns out the handle is better than a mug and you get more drink in so i may have turned a potential disaster in to a stunning drinking container victory.

here i am considering the situation:

i went to a colleauge's birthday 'do' this evening. it was very good.

here is the place:

they had crisps, nuts and bread rolls on the bar which was a nice touch:

one good thing about the dark mornings is that you can see in to people's offices as you walk to work !

here is an office with pieces of paper taped to the walls. it's the remains of a brainstorm no doubt. perhaps for short sighted people ?

i'm sure one of the pieces of paper said "buy some post-its". but i could be wrong.

cut backs mean john walter and pete all need to share the same desk. it looks cramped but they enjoy the company.

it's been a while since we've seen odd job pete doing an odd job around the office. today he's decided to remove the ice monster from the freezer section of the fridge.

he's got an elaborate plan which i'm not convinced about.

here is pete a bit later with the ice:

and here with the ice-less freezer compartment (don't look in to his eyes or you will turn to ice):

i can confirm that it takes the same amount of time for Peter to defrost the fridge as it did for me to have a conference call on the exciting topic of broadband migrations.

my office has come up with a nice idea to try to keep us awake during the day. they've placed some random holes in the floor.

i'm going to go to the local charity shop in a minute and buy a cheap rug to put over the top. i'll then put some nuts in the middle of the rug.

if any wild animals come in to the office, they'll be attacted to the nuts and will fall in to my trap. we can then cook them for our tea thus saving on sandwich costs AND keeping us safe from wild animals.

and all for the cost of a cheap charity shop rug.